{"product_id":"unidentified-cow-t-shirt","title":"Unidentified Cow T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eRecovered from the archive and approved for public wear. 👕 Constructed from 100% ring-spun Gildan 64000 cotton, because field operatives require comfort during extended low-velocity operations. 🛸 This unisex garment arrives pre-broken-in — the result of processes we are not authorized to disclose. 🔒 Heavyweight. Durable. Runs true to size, which is more than we can say for most recovered materials. 📦\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eManufactured, packaged, and dispatched within approved domestic channels 🇺🇸 by personnel who observe mandatory rest intervals at regular intervals throughout operations. ☕\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDoes not grant actual clearance. Wear responsibly. ⚠️\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":57120389300550,"sku":"21267246231507726585","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":57120389398854,"sku":"59153342627419828820","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":57120389497158,"sku":"33829618104971387443","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":57120389595462,"sku":"32581098164299548663","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":57120389693766,"sku":"57204524624518844998","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":57120389267782,"sku":"13616039535986105804","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":57120389366086,"sku":"12026949264010393662","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":57120389464390,"sku":"28632570032274068987","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":57120389562694,"sku":"93860762011024637014","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":57120389660998,"sku":"92508412244777476067","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":57120389759302,"sku":"11861471799228417582","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ S","offer_id":57120389235014,"sku":"10062507239708591344","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ M","offer_id":57120389333318,"sku":"17073400863517896627","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ L","offer_id":57120389431622,"sku":"23397066849024867747","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ XL","offer_id":57120389529926,"sku":"20268759046743163021","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 2XL","offer_id":57120389628230,"sku":"18604817573527402340","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Chocolate \/ 3XL","offer_id":57120389726534,"sku":"27854100517791802515","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0983\/5983\/6998\/files\/unidentified-cow-t-shirt-1-e1ea076d-4fc4-4e96-ace9-ffd47a4e2e34.webp?v=1786633787","url":"https:\/\/theilluminatee.com\/products\/unidentified-cow-t-shirt","provider":"The Illuminatee","version":"1.0","type":"link"}