{"product_id":"nessie-t-shirt-1","title":"Nessie T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eRecovered from the archive and approved for public wear. 👕 Constructed from 100% ring-spun Gildan 64000 cotton, because field operatives require comfort during extended low-velocity operations. 🛸 This unisex garment arrives pre-broken-in — the result of processes we are not authorized to disclose. 🔒 Heavyweight. Durable. Runs true to size, which is more than we can say for most recovered materials. 📦\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eManufactured, packaged, and dispatched within approved domestic channels 🇺🇸 by personnel who observe mandatory rest intervals at regular intervals throughout operations. ☕\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDoes not grant actual clearance. Wear responsibly. ⚠️\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":56989478027590,"sku":"27511366619948872631","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ S","offer_id":56989478060358,"sku":"90734354092872127252","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":56989478093126,"sku":"18034108714168182108","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ M","offer_id":56989478125894,"sku":"59439838516215647291","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":56989478158662,"sku":"32377405938386689187","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ L","offer_id":56989478191430,"sku":"80435374489015847946","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":56989478224198,"sku":"25341565515005378046","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ XL","offer_id":56989478256966,"sku":"33777138066014459288","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":56989478289734,"sku":"18263664728086396212","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 2XL","offer_id":56989478322502,"sku":"23702984669083879569","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sand \/ 3XL","offer_id":56989478355270,"sku":"19472208773268800857","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0983\/5983\/6998\/files\/nessie-t-shirt-8-4e610949-ec12-4b61-8091-edc737dc8c09.webp?v=1784720176","url":"https:\/\/theilluminatee.com\/products\/nessie-t-shirt-1","provider":"The Illuminatee","version":"1.0","type":"link"}